even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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