it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
