You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
