I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
