I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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