the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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