Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
should my penis look like a turkey
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize