That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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