I need help removing her.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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