i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
