HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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