in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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