idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It's just like the Real World with babies
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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