Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
