i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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