I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
