I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
