We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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