So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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