I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
