come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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