having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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