I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize