You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize