That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
