Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
