Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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