brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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