He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
