i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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