HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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