Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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