I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
