There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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