I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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