Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
