never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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