my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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