omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize