kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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