I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
