so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
