last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
