I'll bet she douches with gravy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
