Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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