he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
