Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
