I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
