I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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