You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
