a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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