She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
