Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
