He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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