so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize