I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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