you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
