He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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