addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
