I think my fart just growled at me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
please don't ironically join a cult
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