My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you never un-have a 4some
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
