I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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