she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
