Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
