Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
