direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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