At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
