He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize