Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
