That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Banned from zoo.
Again?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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