and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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