So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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