I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
should my penis look like a turkey
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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