i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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