So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
