Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I skipped work to stalk him.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
