his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
