how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
